Recently, I purchased and started reading the book MWF seeking BFF by Rachel Bertsche. I had heard about it through Twitter and happened to find it while helping my sister find a book on Judy Garland a couple weeks ago at Barnes & Noble. I started reading it right away.
Premise: A late 20s woman recently married and relocated from New York City to Chicago. After 2 years of living in Chicago and not really finding many friends that she could call up just to hang out, she took matters into her own hands. She decided to do 52 friend dates in 52 weeks in hopes of finding a Chicago BFF (best friend forever). And she blogged about it! Yes, it’s a true story!
I’m only about two-thirds of the way through the book…and I’ve identified with so much of it already. It’s hard to find friends when you move somewhere new (remember how I moved to a new city last summer without knowing anyone!). According to the book, research shows that it is much harder for women to find and have meaningful friendships from their late 20s to 40s. One of the things I love about this book is that it isn’t a regurgitation of the author’s blog. It’s filled with research about friendship along with her reflections from her 52 friend dates. Like the author, I have some really good friends. Some solid BFFs. It’s just that most of them live elsewhere (Twin Cities, Milwaukee, Madison, Portage, Whitewater, Ohio, etc.). I try to keep in touch through various methods, but it’s not the same as being in the same geographic area. Thank goodness for Kendra! Even in that situation, we were essentially set up on a blind friend date this past September. However, we’re both in the same boat…new to Duluth & wanting to find people to connect with. Slowly, but surely, we’ll get there. 🙂
Okay, so some of you might be thinking, “You work on a university campus. Wouldn’t that be a hotbed of potential friends?” Technically, your thinking would be correct. At this point, most of the people I’ve met that are around my age are merely acquaintances. The individuals in my office are great people that I get along with, and they are all significantly older than me. Sometimes, it’s just hard to relate when their kids are the same age as me. I’ve always been in situations where there were plenty of people to become fast and close friends with: high school (band & color guard), undergrad, post-undergrad (hung out with friends still living in Eau Claire), and grad school. Now that I’ve moved into my professional career, things just aren’t as easy as they once were. At this point in time, I’ll just keep working on getting to know people on campus through meetings, events, casual meet ups in the hallway, and my knitting group (they are a fun group of ladies!).
Back to the book, I highly recommend it. Reading it has helped me understand how much I cherish strong connections with other people. Those connections help to make life bearable and fun. Here’s to friend making!